Stetsons are the ultimate in cowboy headwear.

I thrive under pressure.

Don’t blame the stream. Blame the dumbass who climbed into a laundry cart when it was parked at the top of a hill.

Comfort and a vast understanding that love couldn’t be killed. They would always love the people they’d lost, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t love each other as well. Love.

Hurry and ketchup, tomato. I’ve missed this something fierce.” Me too. “It’s impossible to keep up with you.

You can remember which one is which by thinking that stalactites cling tight to the ceiling, while stalagmites might rise up from the floor. Over time, the stalagmites and stalactites will meet and form a column, just like they did with old Cupid here.

Hurry and ketchup, tomato.

Too stale for the day-old bakery, so serve them to the wedding guests. Gotcha. My Big Fat Redneck Wedding.

His father wore a paper-thin hospital gown the color of misery.

What scale do you rate them on?” “I don’t rate my lovers at all. Do you?” “You mean other than small, medium, and large?” she quipped.